Sunday, December 5, 2010

Steps To Take that May Save Your Relationship

Picture this: a young man named Jim who works long hours at the office while his wife Liz stays at home, feeling like he barely has any time for her anymore. Liz spends all of her time meeting their children's needs causing Jim to begin to feel like Liz barely has any time for his. Can this relationship be saved? Should it even be saved? Well if you think it should be, then here is how.

Get Commitment from Both Parties

First, you must decide whether or not your relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must first agree to try together. If one person wants it but the other doesn't, it will extremely difficult if not impossible to stay together.

Many people decide to stay in a relationship because it is convenient, no one having to take the big step of breaking the other one's heart. Those who are already married stay together for their children's sake. Unfortunately this isn't enough. If you want your relationship to survive then it it needs to start with a commitment by both parties.

Pinpoint the Problem(s)

The next thing you have to do is to pinpoint the problem or more likely, problems, in your relationship. One of the biggest problems when trying to figure out how to save a relationship is that most couples believe that the symptoms of the problems are the actual problems themselves.

One example would be an affair. On the surface it looks like the affair is the reason for the break up. But if you think about it, there is something going on that is much deeper. What caused the affair to occur? For instance, a lack of true intimacy or a feeling of a stagnant relationship can lead to a straying spouse.

By dealing with the lack of intimacy or bringing more excitement back into the relationship by taking your partner out onto a surprise date can help keep another affair from occurring. When you work on the core issues and not on the symptoms, then it is much easier to save the relationship.

Share Your Thoughts & Feelings

When the core problems are identified, you can begin to share your thoughts with each other. This means both verbalizing your feelings and listening to your partner's concerns. One way to send a signal to your partner that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling and conflicted are to hold their hand while you are talking.

When your partner starts to talk about things that hurt you, take it in stride. Remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. They are simply sharing how they feel. Always keep in mind that all of this is being done to improve the relationship.

Make a Plan and Set it in Motion

Once you have figured out the problems in your relationship, the next step is to create some sort of plan to solve them.

One plan that is already mapped out for you can be found here: The Magic of Making Up.

Then take the necessary steps to put that plan into action. If you have to work and don't have the time to spend with your partner like you used to, then try setting up a date night to go out on every week. For example, take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday or any other day you both may have off. If communicating with each other is the problem, then commit to spending at least 20 minutes before bed to just talk with each other. Then most importantly, do it.

Last But Not Least

Finally, I hope you realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process that never ends just because you two are feeling "comfortable." Many times you will feel that when you try to take two steps forward you find yourself instead only taking one step back. I know it is easier said than done, but try to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

**Would you like to see more in depth tips that will help you fix your relationship with your partner? Then click here to learn more about the Magic of Making Up.

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