Sunday, July 22, 2012

Questions Relationship - Perhaps You Should

If you have someone close to you who questions relationship that you are in, do yourself a favor and listen. More often than not your mother, or sister, or best friend will see signs that you know are there, even though you deny it.  No one should subject themselves to a bad relationship, life is just too short.

I guess when it comes right down to it my first bit of advice would be to stay out of bad relationships in the first place. I know many people reading this would say, 'well I didn't know until I was in love".  That may be true, I don't know you or your situation, But I can say that in the case of one of my friends and my sister, who are both in awful relationships that would be a lie.

The truth is that almost always the signs are there very early on. We just choose to ignore them, and usually for the wrong reasons. We usually ignore them because we don't want to be alone or the person looks really hot, etc. For dumb reasons. And before we know it we're in over our heads and feel trapped and unsure of what to do.

The good news is that there are things you can do.  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Of course, for the purpose of this article, when I talk about a bad relationship I don't mean an abusive one. I just mean that the two of you aren't compatible and don't get along.  If there is abuse going on find help, go to a shelter, go to visit out of town friends, whatever you have to do to get away and be safe.

If, it's not that dire, try to determine (be honest) if the two of you can work on things and make them better. Sometimes the troubles in a relationship are minor and we can easily fix them as long as both parties are willing to try. If you truly think your partner might be willing  to give it a try, than by all means give it a try.

2. Sometimes when one partner starts questioning the relationship, and suggesting that the two of you make changes, the other partner will start to get scared and suggest that the two of you take it to the next level. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but it happens. If you start noticing the flaws in your partner or the relationship your partner may start to feel unsure of them self and in order to keep you they might try to lock you in tighter by suggesting that you get married or move in together.

Don't be fooled. If your partner does this it means they are trying to avoid the real issue and they're trying to manipulate you and play on your emotions. Truthfully, if that happens, it should make you question the relationship even more, not less.

So, if someone you know and trust questions relationship your in, than you should take heed and listen. They are only looking out for you and they are more often than not, right to be concerned.

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